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Impudent Jezebel

There I was on Friday, sitting in the doctor’s office, minding my own business – just trying to get a higher dosage of my wonderful friend, Zoloft, when doc starts talking about getting a full blood workup and this and that, asking if I’ve ever had my thyroid tested. No. Why would I have my thyroid tested? Though I imagine they did this as a routine exam while I was pregnant, I wasn’t sure if it had ever been done and, to my knowledge, there was no reason to specifically request this test. So, I bebop down to the lab where the pretty little vampires lurk with their hypos and brightly colored scrubs, so as to disguise their bloodthirsty ways, and they steal my life force. Just kidding – it doesn’t bother me a bit to give blood. I’d do it for charity but I like getting tattooed, so there’s…

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